Mutual Submission? (Ephesians 5:21)

Ephesians 5:21 is sometimes used to teach mutual submission between husband and wife:

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (ESV)

Indeed, on its own, the expression “submitting to one another” seems to indicate that all submission should be mutual, including between husband and wife. However, there are some important things that need to be considered.

Firstly, the Greek word for “submit” here is hypotassō (ὑποτάσσω), which means to place oneself under another person. It indicates a one-directional relationship which does not go both ways. After all, two things cannot be under each other at the same time. If Person A is submitted to Person B, then by definition, Person B cannot also be submitted to Person A. Indeed, whenever hypotassō is used in the New Testament, it always indicates a submission which goes in only one-direction.

Secondly, Paul specifies the direction of the submission. In the case of a marriage relationship, a wife should submit to her husband (v. 22). Later on in the same passage, this principle of submission is applied to two other relationships. In a parent-child relationship, a child should obey his parents (6:1), and in a master-servant relationship, a servant should obey his master (6:5). These submissions only go in one direction, since parents do not submit to their children, and masters do not submit to their servants.

Thirdly, in verse 24, the submission of the wife to the husband is likened to how the Church submits to Christ. This submission only goes in one direction, since the Church submits to Christ, but Christ does not submit to the Church. It is true that Christ took on the form of a servant to serve us in some sense (Phil. 2:7; Matt. 20:28; Mark 10:45). However, that is not the same as the submission that is mentioned here.