Christian Wife, Fear Your Husband! (Ephesians 5:33)

In Ephesians 5:33, the Apostle Paul concludes his discussion on Christian marriage:

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)

The Greek word for “respect” here is the verb phobeomai (φοβέομαι), which is usually rendered into English with words like “fear”, “afraid”, “terrified”, and “awe”. In several English Bible translations, Ephesians 5:33 is the only passage where phobeomai is rendered as “respect”.

So, if we rendered phobeomai consistently in Ephesians 5:33, we would get:

let the wife see that she fears her husband.

Of course, Paul did not mean that a wife should “be afraid of” her husband. Like the English word “fear”, phobeomai can mean “respect” in some contexts. Indeed, the BDAG Lexicon provides the following definition for phobeomai in Ephesians 5:33:

to have a profound measure of respect for, (have) reverence, respect, w[ith] special ref[erence] to fear of offending.

Phobeomai takes on this same meaning when it is used in expressions for “fearing God” (Luk. 1:50; Acts 10:35; 13:16, 26; Col. 3:22; 1 Pet. 2:17; Rev. 14:7; 19:5). In such expressions, phobeomai means “respecting” God, and not “being afraid of” God.

So then, if English Bible translations render phobeomai as “fear” even in passages where it refers to “respect” for God, then why do they not also render phobeomai as “fear” in Ephesians 5:33? It is probably because the expression “fearing God” in English is already widely understood as “respecting” God rather than “being afraid of” God. However, this is not the case with “fearing one’s husband”. That is why English translations rightly render phobeomai in Ephesians 5:33 as “respect”.

The nuances of this “respect” can be clarified by examining how phobeomai and its related terms are used:

• We have already seen that phobeomai is used in expressions for “fearing God”.
• Likewise, the related noun phobos (φόβος) is used for the “fear” or “respect” that people should have for God (Acts 9:31; Rom. 3:18; 2 Cor. 5:11; 7:1; Eph. 5:21).
• Phobos is also used for the “fear” or “respect” that Christian slaves should have for their masters (Eph. 6:5; 1 Pet. 2:18).

Essentially, phobeomai and its related terms denote the “respect” that a person has for another person of higher station. Even as people should “fear” God, and a Christian slave should “fear” his master, so also a Christian wife should “fear” her husband—that is, she should “have a profound measure of respect for” him.